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10 May 2006 @ 10:37 pm
Well, it worked for one night.. [Completed]  
Character(s): Hitsu, Touga
Content: It was all going well, at least until Hitsu woke up from a nightmare.
Setting: The dorm on the third level now occupied by Hitsu and Touga.
Time: 3:00 AM
Warnings: Blood, mind violence, cursing, shounen-ai (m/m fluffies. JUST LIKE PEEPS!)the obvious angst warning (You knew I was going to put that there, it was obvious. Hitsu has a stick up where the sun don't shine. )

Red oozed down the pale canvas to mix with the greenery below, small droplets seeming to rain down from above in succession with the noises of painful gasps. After every breath followed that of a sickening twist and snap or the slice of delicate flesh upon cold metal. This pattern of pain seemed to go on for ages, never ending, never stopping. He tried to close his eyes to will it away but found that they didn't close - instead they found themselves locked with crimson eyes he knew all too well. Those goddamn sickening eyes. Even though his vision was failing him, he always knew who's eyes those were.

“This is nothing but what your own faults caused, Hitsu.” A soft, almost angelic voice slipped from lips covered in sweet venom. The sickening feeling of his fingers upon his open wounds probably would have caused him to vomit if he had anything left in his stomach. What was more sickening about it is he knew these words were true... “Of course, you were always one to be ignorant, Hitsu-chan~.” The man held out this last syllable, mocking Hitsu before he felt excruciating pain stab through his chest.

The next moment he knew, he found himself in the safety of the bedroom yet nothing seemed comfortable at this point. The images flooded through his head. He almost seemed to choke on the intangible sentences as he was gasping for air. His breathing eventually returned to it's normal state but his mind wouldn't let go of those thoughts. With a sigh, he sat up in the bed - burying his head in his knees.

And after all that crap about being glad to be wanted, maybe even a bit happy for once.. He thought maybe the feelings would have lasted. Allowed him a good night's sleep.

Apparently, fate decided him to deal him a bad card.
Hitsuabstractedmind on May 12th, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)
If his strength hadn’t been zapped out of him by that dream, he probably would have protested. It was his fault after all – he was the one who got terrified from that nightmare. Yet, was it something he could control? Most likely not but blaming himself gave him the delusion that he might.

When Touga tilted his head up, he couldn’t hide the sudden surprise of the action. This had gotten his attention back and he listened. Yet the words that were coming out of the other’s mouth he couldn’t believe. Someone offering him their shoulder to cry on? This obviously had to be some kind of hallucination or dream or something. Most people were either scared of him or didn’t know he existed – not many had offered him their hands. Especially not like Touga.

Before he could contemplate further, his lips were captured in a gentle kiss. His eyes widened a fraction and he almost looked for a moment as though he might strangle the redhaired man. Instead, his actions were quite uncharacteristic of him. He shyly kissed the other back.

Two seconds later though, he pulled away – and hastily jerked his body so that his back was faced towards the other.

What the hell had made him do that?!
winter_rosebud on May 12th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC)
Touga reached out and placed his hands on Hitsu's shoulders. "It's all right."

Feeling the other boy kiss back for a moment had been thrilling. But Touga had felt it when Hitsu's damage had caught up with what he was doing, made him pull away as if burned.

He moved closer and slipped one arm around Hitsu's shoulders from the front. "You won't hurt me." Touga leaned his head against the smaller boy's. "And I won't hurt you." He rubbed Hitsu's back soothingly. "It doesn't have to be bad."

Though Touga had never had a good emotional experience with anything sexual, he had eventually learned to enjoy it. Hitsu seemed lightyears away from that difficult lesson. But hopefully Touga could teach him that something as simple as kissing or just holding one another could be all right. They were supposed to be acts of love, not domination or pain. But he could tell it would be some time before Hitsu could begin to see that.

Well, Touga had time...he thought. No doorway had opened up yet beckoning him into the light. Even so, he would have turned his back on it now to stay with Hitsu.
Hitsuabstractedmind on May 12th, 2006 06:27 pm (UTC)
It wasn’t alright! He wasn’t suppose to feel like this!

The boy was supposed to be concentrating on more important things, Toru-nee-chan. To him, feeling this way was abandoning her in the dust. He should be thinking of how avenge her dead. Not this. He was letting Toru down doing this..

Plus, the only times this had ever happened – this type of touching, it was painful. Excruciating sparks of pain he wanted to keep in the back of his mind forever. Sure, he had seen other couples together and happily holding eachother. He knew, however, that was just a delusion that would fade away. Everything faded away like that.

Yet.. With Touga he couldn’t help himself. It was stupid, it was retarded. No matter if he attempted to bring about the urges to hurt the man it was futile. He couldn’t. And.. Touga hadn’t hurt him back.

Touga was telling the truth. And while with one hand he wanted to grab a gun and shoot his brains out, with the other he wanted to simply hold the other. It was insane, stupid, retard!

It was plain confusing.

“It isn’t alright..” His eyes shifted to a wall, his voice sounding as though he was trying to convince himself rather than Touga. “It can’t be..”
winter_rosebud on May 12th, 2006 10:25 pm (UTC)
Touga's arms tightened around Hitsu in a gentle squeeze. "It can be," he said gently. "If you let it."

He bent his head and warm breath coasted across the curve of Hitsu's neck. Touga leaned in and nuzzled him comfortingly, like a mother lion with her cub.
Hitsuabstractedmind on May 12th, 2006 11:48 pm (UTC)
A part of the blue-haired youth couldn't disagree more. This wasn't acceptable , and he couldn't make it acceptable. It was one thing he vowed years ago. Of course, another part of him reminded him that vows were meant to be broken sometimes.

The comforting touches had their effect but it was more a mixed emotion between frustration and relaxing. He was frustrated due to his feelings; at the same time, he didn't want those emotions to go away.

"...If I let it.." He repeated those words softly to himself.
winter_rosebud on May 13th, 2006 07:44 am (UTC)
When Hitsu didn't panic, Touga's lips were gently pressed against his throat next.

"Perhaps we can both learn how...together. What do you say, Hitsu?" He stroked the other boy's hair. "Are you willing to at least try?" Touga began to gently rock back and forth on the bed, still holding Hitsu against him.
Hitsuabstractedmind on May 13th, 2006 08:01 am (UTC)
The touch upon his sensitive skin caused him to shudder. His right hand balling some of the fabric within it as it turned into a fist. That little nagging voice in his head said he probably could get away with attempted murder at the moment.

Touga wasn't doing any harm to him, though, he hadn't throughout this whole time. Yet these touches were uncomfortable - mainly because they were something different than nails scraping down his flesh or a punch to his face. Unfamiliarity almost fueling him to act upon the words of the darker half of him.

But the other half kept restraining him, causing him to again not do anything. 'Unfamiliar things weren't always bad', it protested. Maybe he would give this all a chance. Plus, if things got bad enough he always could resort to violent methods later. And that nagging voice, for once - didn't have an argument for that.

Hitsu seemed a bit more relaxed with his next few words. "Maybe I could try.."